I recently discovered a new work out routine which is really helping my fat ass burn some unwanted carbs..
STEP 1- Get dressed in your best workout clothes and lace up the New Balances.
STEP 2- Download a playlist of the crudest african american, aka nigger, rap you can find. Preferably including the “Slob On My Knob” track and this crazy track where some high Africans butcher every American nursery rhyme known to man. With lines like, “Momma Bear asked Pappa Bear if he would eat her porridge. Papa Bear said, Shit, Bitch you must think I’m sick. Just get down here on your knees and suck this bear ass dick”
STEP 3- Run to your mail box and back about ten times. Really feel the music and run like those rapping banshies are chasing you. Make sure your heart rate is at a high and your balls have started to stick to your legs.
Step 4- Hurry inside to the bathroom, strip off all your clothes and turn the heater on high.
Step 5- Beat off harder than you ever have while holding your breath. Your penis might not be erect for the first few minutes, but that is the best part. Pull it like your trying to start a chain saw. Pretend you are black fucking a blonde. Rip it and grip it…
Step 6- Cum.
Step 7- Take your first breath and try not to pass out.
Hope everyone enjoys. This picture really has zero relevance but a man stroking a wooden elephant penis made me laugh.
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